Slim Tiffy

Sat, 21 Jul 2007 03:38:03 GMT

I AM RISING FROM THE ASHES LIKE BIGGIE AND TUPAC SHAKUR

~WORSHIP ME~

What is your new years resolution?

Sun, 31 Dec 2006 03:15:40 GMT

My new years resolution is to get laid.

lol.

I know thats a pathetic resolution but w/e. Its been long enough (Im getting old) and Im sick of hearing about peoples sexual encounters. It makes me sad and jealous sometimes.

Like this post here http://community.livejournal.com/thequestionclub/16097831.html
The question was,"When was the last time you had tremendously good sex? Why was it good?"

Grrr.

My other resolutions are:
1. Take my certification state board exam in May and pass so I can be ~certified~ to work in a hospital.
2. Move out.
3. Possibly move out of Ohio. Somewhere maybe warm all year long. I dunno. I might stay here. The job market isnt bad in columbus and well the weather hasnt rly been cold. Global warming.
4. Find a decent man. The man of my dreams *yeah right*
5. Be fit and toned for the summer
6. Meet new people
7. Go on a road trip. I always wanted to travel across the united states. Doubt it will happen though.
8. Buy a kitten or puppy. Im not allergic to cats anymore. Isnt that weird?
9. Go to another country besides Canada but Im scared of planes :-(. I never been on one.
10. Visit California. Never been there but I have family members there.
11. Have a decent job and a career.

Thu, 31 Aug 2006 04:12:59 GMT

It sux laying in bed I just ponder about life and it sux

Sun, 27 Aug 2006 19:11:06 GMT

I am bringin sexy back.

DROPIN SOON.

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 05:41:58 GMT

CUMIN SOON 2 A STORE NEAR U.

SLIM TIFFY - CORNBRED, the DEBUT ALBUM FROM YA GIRL SLIM TIFFY.

I JUST SIGNED WITH SONY AND WE ARE ANXIOUSLY GETTING TOGETHA A TOUR. I WILL B OPENIN FOR 50 CENT.

BE SURE TO BUY MAH RECORD.

I WILL SUX YA OFF MAYBE IF YA BUY 2

IDK LOL.

Masked Hamburger Rapist

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 04:33:08 GMT

I fuckin hate hamburgler
He should be charged with murder
Fuckin buns shoved in my folds
Didn't even ask if he culd go for da gold
Masked fgt shoved his fist in my vagina
Punched right thru and broke my linah
Yeh dats rite I lost it to ground beef
He came ova n raped me in mah sleep
Tiffy no liah so she aint gona say it was bad
He just made her mad
Gettin pumped with supersized fries
Mah special sauce jillin ova my cries
N den he left me wit a salty mess
Gud thing I had anotha guest
Mah brotha came n said yeh fingrin sux
So he shoved in his cock and we got to fuck
Dats how we do it in Ohio
Just puttin sumtin extra in ur Cinco de Mayo.

SEMEN LIKE RAZORBLADES

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 04:32:16 GMT

BABI, U HAD NE LUCK FINDIN MY CLIT?
JUST MOVE DAT FLASHLITE OVA A LIL BIT
WARM AND GOOEY LIKE A CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE
I LUV LIMP BIZKIT I DID IT ALL 4 DA NOOKIE
TASTE MY CLIT SO WARM AND GOOEY
BE CAREFUL THO THAT MITE B MY POOEY
MY FECES IS LIKE MY CAMOUFLAGE
I WAS CAUGHT HUMPIN DA TAILPIPE IN DA GARAGE
DADDI SAY WE GOTTA MOVE NOW CUZ OF MY REBELLION
WE CANT TAKE HIM W/ US SO I GUESS WE GOTTA EAT SEBASTION

Cuntry Cleaning

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 04:18:52 GMT

Yeh I been 2 a new cuntry
And dem Canadians kno how to get their munchies
Eatin my clit like it's da last meal
They kno how to make slim tiffy squeel.
Maple leaf bringin da heat
All da way from Ohio to Main Street
My pussy just bleedin red n white
I ain't puttin up no fight
Cum down it ain't gon be ya loss
U can use mah pubes as dental floss
Eatin my steak like dey ain't been to a Morton's
Luvin my coffee thighs like dey came from Tim Horton's

SEBASTION

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 03:57:03 GMT

O DADDI U WANNA GET YR HAND IN DA SUGA BOWL
SHOWIN OFF MY TITTIES LIKE IT DA SUPA BOWL
DAT AINT NO CANCER IT JUST A MOLE
LICK MY PERINEUM, BUT STAY DA FUK OUTTA TIFFY'S ASSHOLE
THEY SAY A SEX DOES NOT A PERSON MAKE
BUT DADDI I LUV IT WHEN U EAT ME LIKE CAKE
O BABI TOUCH THE DIAL ON MY EASY BAKE
I GONNA SPRAY YR HAIR LIKE IM RICKI LAKE
STOP LICKIN IT LIKE A FRUIT CUP
MY NAME AINT DOLE
SHO THOSE BITCHES WATS UP
WERK TIFFY'S TITE BABI HOLE

APPLICATION

Sun, 30 Jul 2006 21:12:53 GMT

I JUST APPLIED 2 SOUND_RATIONALE I HOPE THEY LET ME IN

OK CROSSES FINGERS

General:
1. Name: TIFFY
2. Age: 24
3. Location:
4. Gender: F

Vitals:
5. Ten bands/artists that you love:
(1) GLASSJAW
(2) HEAD AUTOMATICA
(3) ADRIANA LIMA
(4) CHRISTINA AGUILERA
(5) SLIPKNOT
(6) ALICE IN CHAINS
(7) THRICE
(8) COMMON
(9) CURSIVE
(10) TONI BRAXTON

6. Top five albums of all time (at the moment):
(1) CHRISTINA AGULERA - BAC 2 BASICZ
(2) PUSSYCAT DOLLS - PCD (XTINA WAS A PUSSYCAT DOLL LOL YEH)
(3) HEAD AUTOMATICA - POPAGANDA (CLEVER TITLE LOL)
(4) GLASSJAW - EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT SILENCE
(5) LINKIN PARK - HYBRID THEORY

7. Name a song(s) or album(s) that makes you...
Feel like dancing: CHRISTINA AGUILERA - WAT A GIRL WANTS
Fall in love: CHRISTINA AGUILERA - INFATUATION
Unleash your rage: CHRISTINA AGUILERA - MAKE OVER
Cry your eyes out: CHRISTINA AGUILERA - I'M OK
Sing at the top of your lungs: CHRISTINA AGUILERA - KEEP ON SINGIN' MY SONG
Shiver in ecstasy: CHRISTINA AGUILERA - GET MINE, GET YOURS
Cause grievous bodily harm to its maker: CHRISTINA AGUILERA - OBVIOUS
Seduce and destroy: CHRISTINA AGUILERA - DIRRTY
Find the nearest swing set at 4 A. M.: CHRISTINA AGUILERA - SOAR
Play air guitar alone in your bedroom: CHRISTINA AGUILERA - FIGHTER
Want to change the world: CHRISTINA AGUILERA - BEAUTIFUL

8. Make up a musical top five list:
(ie, "top five musical smells," "top five baroque pop
albums")
Theme:TOP 5 POST HARDCORE EPS
(1)GLASSJAW - KISS KISS BANG BANG
(2)HEAD AUTOMATICA - BEATING HEART EP
(3)GLASSJAW - PRETTY LUSH
(4)GLASSJAW - RY RY'S SONG
(5)PAULA ABDUL - FOREVER YOUR GIRL

9. Pick 5 genres & give us 1-5 artists from each that you
love:
The following genres are as basic as we could get them,
but feel free to get more or less specific, or to include ones
we did not mention:
(Rawk, Cop, BBQ, T&A, Polk, County, Ragu, Mettle, Porn, Jizz, Booze, Gosling, New Orleans, Clinical, Ejaculation, En Garde, Buckwheat, Zydeco, Camera, Missile, Post Bop, Pre-Rock, Mrs. Haversham, Etc.)
(1)TWEE POP: CHRISTINA AGUILERA, BRITNEY SPEARS, 'NSYNC, BACKSTREET BOYS
(2)RIOTGRRL: LIL' KIM, TRINA, SHAWNNA, KHIA
(3)PSYCHOBILLY: TONI BRAXTON
(4)COUNTRY: DIXIE CHICKS, CHEVELLE
(5)PORN: XTINA (SHE IS SO HOT LOL)

Flesh Things Out:
10. Favorite books:CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC
11. Favorite movies:

Stroke Our Ego:
12. (This is just for fun & will not affect voting on your
application.) Look through the member list & look at the applications of the members.
Which one would you most like to hump?ME LOL
13. Why do you wish to be a member of this community?MY TASTE IN MUSIC IS AMAZING

Stroke Your Ego:
14. Tell us something interesting about yourself:
15. Optionally, post up to 3 pictures of yourself or
something interesting:

fifa this.

Sat, 01 Jul 2006 18:07:04 GMT

http://fifaworldtiff.livejournal.com/

Ya des fuckas think i play with balls
Dont dey kno i just rock da malls
YA shoppin is wut i do
I don't even kno how 2 skrew
They all bein hatas
I gotta tell them latas
But I look like a man
Too bad I aint a fan
Soccer is borin, ya heard me say
So fuck ya'll cum wut may
I don't got no job still
Can't pay mah bills
Shit, man, I can't buy no ham
Guess it's back to eatin spam.
I am a gym teacher dont got no money
So open ya pants and ya can call me honey
I'll suck ya hard n kick ya round
Don't let ya mah kno Tiffy don't make no sound

respect the pussy

Mon, 05 Jun 2006 18:56:57 GMT

choke me, spank me, pull my hair
stick ya dick in my pussy
lemme c ya nostrils flare
did ya get a nice sniff?
smellin like flowers
nah, flowers smell like slim tiff
i know ya can't stop cuz i'm that fuckin fly
couple days without my pussy and you might just die
well take a sigh of relief cuz im urz forever
or at least as long as ya lemme spend ya chedda
dats right, slim tiffy got needs
i need and ounce of coke and da finest weeds
dont listen to dem bitches that tell me watch my weight
get ya ass out n buy slim tiffy a cake
make sure it's gold...
like my pussy

BL00DY 4NU5

Fri, 02 Jun 2006 22:16:33 GMT

another one bites da dust
no my pussy aint got no rust
i keep it shiny n sparklin n
my cooter keeps those dogs barkin
u just mad cuz i got all da boys
they screamin for me to use mah sex toys
i can take these 2 dildos all da way
pa u can use them after i do da deed
daddy i wanna see dat rectum bleed.

midnite snack

Fri, 02 Jun 2006 15:19:49 GMT

i close my eyes in the dark, you see me disappear
lemme spread my legs...my panties are sheer
pink pussy surprise all up in ya eyes
boy i got plans
let's play wit our hands
only one finger, cuz i'm mad tight
am i cummin... or bleedin egg whites?
lick a taste, and tell me wut ya think
hol up, dis a lot...get a cup 4 dis drink
swallow it quick, so i can play wit ya dick
...oh you ain't got one?
never mind.

NO JOB RAPPA

Wed, 31 May 2006 03:16:09 GMT

Man in my vag there's a burn
It's hard tryin ta be an intern
Can't find nothing in da streets
And callin people is a fuckin feat
But I am slim tiffy I got da words
Ta tell dem I will eat der turds
Cumin up hard n fast
Just don't give me none yo sass
Ain't even graduated, I'm almost 24
Shit, I may just rob a grocery store
I try real hard to get a job
But dey all kno I'm a slob
Got dere jizz on mah lips
I drink it rl fast no fuckin sips
Mmm nice and thick
Tiffy kno how ta suck ya dick
Just need dat job ta get ahead
Too bad I'm not even good in bed
Yeh fingerin sux
Just drink from mah diva cup
Mah red juices are a flowin
Ya could eat me out but ya gotta start mowin
My pubes are black n thick like a forest
If I don't get an internship I'll be da poorest
Tiffy need a job and she is talkin now
Turnin tricks aint easy when ya puss smell like cow
Moo moo no I ain't fat
I could take ya on a gym mat
Dat's mah major, I'm tryin ta be a teacher
And mah pussy will be da main feature.

DIS IS 4 ALL U LIL LIMP DICK MUTHAFUCKAS

Tue, 30 May 2006 16:05:52 GMT

Yo yo yo dey call me slim tiffy
My shit is off da hizzy
My body is bangin like fo shizzy
I got men wantin to be my baby daddy
I tell em dat dey r trifling n batty
I want dem to know dat dey cant handle
All dat I got up in my cooter
If they cant ride dey need 2 get on a scooter
Scoot on outta my vag pie
I know when I hear a lie
If u aint got 12 inches of pain
U will fo sho be standin out in da rain
do u see how u make me insane
if u cant handle da width of ma's thick wick
boy i dont wanna c yo dick.

PART 2...I AM FEELIN SO CREATIVE 2DAY.

Yo yo yo im back
Do u think my shit is wack
Fuck no it aint
U r nothing but a wank
I no how 2 get into ur sperm bank
Can u get my clit wet
ASAP plz I need to get outta debt
14 bucks for a ride
Bitch u ride til u die
U die cuz of my bloody vag pie
Honey I take u all da wey down
Downtown 2 where ur gonna get raped
Can u handle my thick ass case n shape
Ignore the scars from mah c section
don’t worry I gave da baby away without an election
I have no regret or remorse
Da guy was hung like a muthafuckin horse!

O SUMA DAT

Tue, 30 May 2006 02:02:21 GMT

let's go to 7/11 and grab some slurpees
but get yo own straw, i might give u herpes
i totally luv xtina
that's what i named my llama
even though that triflin bitch
looks more like osama
tiffy is plagued with thoughts of suicide
but nothing cures the blues like some pesticide
no, that ain't a cockroach on the hooch
that's just some raid in tiffy's cooch

TEACH ME TO FUCK

Tue, 30 May 2006 02:01:45 GMT

My pussy is so juicy n wet
Haven't u gotten da hint yet
I am hot for teacher
I wanna fuck one on the bleachers
In mah dreams, the men are sayin yes
To me failing my pregnancy test
I wanna have your cock in my vagina
And I ain't even talkin kinda
I got jock itch that don't quit
Cum in my mouth, I don't know how to spit
Shit, hold up, pump it in faster
Baby I want you to roll me in castor
Oil, mmhmm so hot and thick
Baby, chicken is my passion and I've got honey mustard for that dick
Just so you know u gotta teach me to drive stick
shift, harder, faster,
I got endurance because I am a gym master
Tiffy plays vollyball, in a thong
It's all good, I'm a gym teacher who can do no wrong
I can hit ya balls like a baseball bat
Just as long as you can handle a bit of fat

ASH N LOTION

Tue, 30 May 2006 01:59:53 GMT

don't lie, my skin ain't ashy
i luv it when my potatoes are mashy
but i don't like it when they get lumpy lumps
blame it on my humps (humps)
tiffy takes big dumps (dumps)
i'm gonna b on the maury show
i bet u gonna b sorry ho
y'all will kno i'm the best
when i get the results
of my paternity test

JSIMPIN

Tue, 30 May 2006 01:59:25 GMT

when i was young i wanted to be a pimp
now i wish i was JSimp
son, i aint trying 2 b real
i luv clubbing (those baby seals)
with that heather mills' prosthetic
that peg-legged bitch makes me sick
i wanna be the one getting
paul mccartney all irrate
he'll be the poop deck, i'll be the pirate

KOSHER DELI

Tue, 30 May 2006 01:58:12 GMT

I am hungry and I got a cravin
It's hot out and I'm black as a raven
But the one thing I hear out on the street
Is the fineness of kosher meat
I got 2 slices of black ass bread
U might get to see it if u ain't got a head
On ya penis, I'm talkin no cap
I don't want no pansy ass flap
I ain't jewish but i kno the store
Anythin else is just a bore
Fuk ya those white boy asses
Ya cant handle me u go to da gasses
I'm pumpin chickin from mah vag
Baby wut u waitin for a merrit badge?

NOT_KOSHER DIS IS 4 U.

RIDIN KIA

Tue, 30 May 2006 01:56:38 GMT

i drive a kia
i ain't no khia
my neck, my back?
my ass feeling slack
that's me, tiffy, taking lots of laxatives
it's all me, bitches, absolutely no additives
i'm learning the business of leisure
but really i just wanna luv crazies who have seizures
u looking for me? ask yr mother
i'm chillaxing with a mouth full of her udders

CAVIAR CLIT

Tue, 30 May 2006 01:05:47 GMT

my asshole tastes like caviar
toasty faggots will make me a star
it's hard growing up in columbus
spitting my rhymes on the short bus
retards buying dope, tiffy's dealing
it's a better life than knealing
crime, cholas and stealing
yeh i write entries about my menses
i spent my weed money on colored contact lenses

i ain't victoria
but here's my secret
i don't got a crush on daryl
i got a crush on chyna
i love the taste of a bloody vagina
pussy gets me so damn hot
tiffy gonna make your blood clot

i leech off my mamma
my life-long dream is to own a llama
tina, come eat some spam
damn
i'm gonna make that llama bitch my sex slave
teach her llama ass how to behave
you can't spell bestiality without best
i love bitches who ingest

GIRL SCOUT COOKIE

Tue, 30 May 2006 01:03:33 GMT

eat me out
cum here, girl scout
taste my cookie
my cream-filled nookie
i used 2 have a crush on fred durst
i thought of him when the banana made my cherry burst
but i turned gay when i saw his tiny dick
in the porno from his sidekick

LIMA SCREAMA

Tue, 30 May 2006 01:03:05 GMT

people think i'm bi
cuz i luv adriana lima
i'm not rly gay
i just wanna ride her like a beema
tiffy got a new betta fish
eating my pussy saying it's delish
i grew up in ohio, where the streets are mean
i'll blow your mind with afro sheen
my life will b better when my album drops
i saw my real daddy getting beat up on cops